Christmas is OVER!

So, Wyatt's BIG gift from Me (the Mom) is a HUGE hit! He has been playing his Wii since the 24th it is now the 31st. I think he's been playing it at least 10 hours a day. I figure what the heck it's his Christmas break, however once school start he most likely will only play one hour a day.

So, I decided to play him in WHEEL OF FORTUNE!! He was so excited.

Good thing for me Wyatt has no clue about the game.

When the game was over he stated "Mom you're so GOOD at that game" Little does he know how good I'M NOT at that game.

I then had the talk with Wyatt.....the talk that once school starts there are rules to Wii. I even printed out the rules. He looked at me and Yelled "CHRISTMAS IS OVER!"

Pretty much sums it up.

Christmas!

Well to try and get Wyatt to do ANYTHING on Christmas Eve is a workout! He is so excited he can't sit still. And this is a kid with ADHD so he is just a CRAZY kid today. He knows that he can't open his gifts until tonight and then Christmas morning he'll see what Santa brought him (only if he's been good!)

Well while he was eatting breakfast he states

"I can't wait to open all my Juicy gifts!"

Ew......juicy gifts?

Boys......ugg..........

New Car?

So, I had sent Wyatt upstairs to get ready for a bath. I started the water and he tosses his clothes down the shoot. Well I wasn't really paying much attention after that point since Wyatt can handle getting into the tub and turning the water off all on his own. Except this time I heard these interesting car sounds. So I open the door and see Wyatt sitting on the toilet pretending to drive a car.

I just looked at him and he looked at me and said "What?!"

I didn't say anything and then he says

"Well you know if you could poop and drive at the same time you'd save so much time, but using toilet paper while driving might be hard to do....I'll have to think about that for a while."

I don't think I need to SAVE that much time......

Paycheck

So the discussion of clean underware has come up yet again.....Wyatt calls them "undies".

Wyatt told me that he isn't paid enough to change his undies every day.

I explained to him that I'm not paid nearly enough to deal with a boy that has a stinky butt.

Wyatt said "hmmmmm good point Mom, but I think I should get a raise if I change them every day."

Like that's going to happen!! :0)

Boyfriend?

So, Wyatt and I were enjoying breakfast this Monday morning and he looks at me and says.

"I can see it in your eyes mom!"

"um....what?"

(Wyatt) "That you're in LOVE!"

(me) "really? that's news to me."

(Wyatt) "I can see the googling in your eyes that you're in love with some college boy you're in school with."

(me)"Really?"

(Wyatt)"Yes you're eyes have stars in them and flying birds are around your head."

hmmmmmm...............

(Wyatt)"Oh wait I think that means you've been hit in the head with something not that you're in love."

So now Wyatt is compairing things in life to life in Bugs Bunny Land!!!

I was getting worried there for a second, not sure where his conversation was going.......to be young.

Kiss my Grits!

So nothing is as fun as shopping but shopping with a 9 year old boy is something to be desired!

So, I'm walking at CUB and picking up items for dinner and Wyatt is walking around asking for this toy and that toy (I really HATE that they sell toys!) All of a sudden I get this SMACK on my butt. Wyatt then YELLS "Get moving Woman, I needs to pee!" I was in SHOCK and just rolled my eyes and kept walking. Who knows what gets into that kid. I'm sure the line he used on me was a line from a movie.....I hope.....

UGG!

Date?

So, Wyatt has asked me out on a date, he said I need to date more and he'd like to take me out. However then he states "Mom you've got to pay for the date." Such a nice little man!

3rd person

So I'm driving Wyatt to TaeKwonDo and he starts talking to me in the 3rd person. All about Wyatt's likes and DIS-likes. The part that really got me was that as he was talking as a 3rd person (you know as Wyatt) he was talking with a Southern Accent. What's up with that?

Teeth

Well, Wyatt has now lost 3 teeth without a visit from the toothfairy. It's not the Toothfairy's fault on this non visit problem. Wyatt has seemed to have forgotten that he has lost his tooth, until he looses another one then he remembers he has a back up of teeth. Last night he lost another tooth (3rd tooth) and he left it sitting on the window sill in the kitchen with the other 2.

So, he sees a commercial for Dentures and thinks it would be cool to have teeth you can take out and put in when ever you want too. I tried to explain to him that having dentures isn't always a good thing and in this day and age you should not require dentures. So I'm wondering maybe he's saving his baby teeth to make his own set of dentures? I wouldn't put it past him!!

Besides him wondering when I'm going to start wearing Adult Diapers he wants to know when I'll start using E.D. medication too! I HATE COMMERCIALS!

Gotta love kids!

Another one?

So Halloween was a HUGE success Wyatt was Harry Potter and feeling pretty good about his choice of a costume, until some neighbors had no clue who he was (I guess they are clueless to Harry Potter. Wyatt said to one person "Duh...I'm Harry Potter, the greatest WIZARD ever!" I guess the smeared scar on his head wasn't a give away of who he was, or the round glasses or the cape......

So, when he was done trick and treating we were at home checking out his HUGE stash of treats and the doorbell rings. Wyatt yells "OH we have customers!" I had never thought of trick and treaters as customers. I found it funny!

Also the little booger knew I took the little box of Milk Duds! How he knows that I'll never know!!! AHHHHHH!

Lost friendship

Wyatt came home from school pretty upset. He said "My friend Patrick, well he's no longer my friend. He dropped me."

I told Wyatt I was sorry to hear this and asked him if he knew what happend for Patrick to drop you?

Wyatt said "NO, Patrick is such a D-Bag!"

Ahhhh okay.....not sure where he's heard that term from but alrighty then.

Yikes!

So, Wyatt was standing in front of his mirror in CLEAN underwear he was talking to himself and just being a goofball. So as I was walking by his room and he turns around and says "Hey Mom! Do you think I'm sexy?"

I just walked away very quickly......yikes!

WOW!

Okay, so I was reading and Wyatt was playing outside....a nice warm October day in Minnesota. All of a sudden Wyatt screams. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH I hurt my Va-JJ!!"

Enough said.

Fire the President!

Well Wyatt would like to fire the President of the United States of America.

He brought this up while working on his spelling words. He feels it's the Presidents job to STOP all Spelling tests. He said that the President has failed on this job and should be fired. (Not because Wyatt thinks spelling tests are "stupid")

I asked him are you really meaning the President of the United States of America?

He says "Yes that's the one! Kids should NOT have to take spelling tests I think it's his job to stop them!"

I should ask Wyatt what he feels we should do with our Foreign Policy next? HA!

Umm what?

Okay so it's a beautiful fall day here in Minnesota. Wyatt has to help raise money for his Elementary school. So we stopped at a few of the neighbors to sell them wrapping paper and candies.

Our neighbors to the left is a married couple in their 50's very nice. They were sweet enough to purchase some candies.

Well as we were leaving Wyatt says "Jill if you need anything let me know.....like if you need company I'm here for you." Ummm what???? It's either very sweet or just very weird!

Problems.....

So, I'm still not sure where this conversation was going or even why it started but Wyatt asked

"Hey mom, do people I mean children have problems?"

"sure, what kind of problem are you talking about?"

He says "well you know like the problem of not being able to listen? and I don't mean they're deaf"

I just said well I think there are a LOT of children that have that type of problem."

he looked at me and stated "well I'm so glad I don't HAVE that problem!"

I just looked at him and stared and he says "WHAT?"

I just look and turned and walked away......A....mazing.....

Bus ride.....

So Wyatt has about a 20 min bus ride and you just never know what's going to happen on the bus. He has 2 different drivers so the morning driver is a woman (with no teeth) that pays attention to what the kids are doing on the bus, the afternoon driver (an older man) listens to Sean Hannity while driving and doesn't seem to care that there are children on the bus. So there have been some issues.....

Well, Wyatt came home yesterday a little upset he says "Mom, this girl on the bus called me GAY! So I called her GAYER"

I asked Wyatt if he knew what GAY meant. He said no. So I attempted to tell him.....I said well there are a couple different meanings for that word and I 1st said it could mean that you're really happy.

Wyatt says "NOPE that is NOT what she meant, so I said she was 1 million times gay and she said that I was 5 millions times gay and I said that she was 500 million times gayer"

I then was going to continue with explaining to him what Gay means and he was done with the conversation......Oh boy...

A wedding?

So Wyatt and I were just hanging out and he turns around and states to me.

"Mom, I think I'm going to get married by time I'm 20."

I made the suggestion that maybe you should wait until you're 30 to get married.

He looked at me and then said "well Mom by the time I'm 30 all the girls will be all crinkled and have gray hair."

I just said "well you know that is why some girls color their hair so it's not gray."

He said "Oh that will work, okay I can wait until I'm 30 to get married."

So I'm looking forward to his wedding in 21 years! I think I'll start looking for my dress now!

Ahhhhh summer time

Well, summer is about over.....I can't wait for Wyatt to get back into school. He has other ideas.

So last week we went to the Wisconsin Dells. They have the biggest Water park in America. It's called Noah's Ark. It's great I've been going to it since I was little and it's only gotten better.

Well as I'm sure you've all seen before people walking around in swim suits. Some are very scary and they don't seem to care that the swim suite they are wearing is WAY TOO SMALL, or their butt is hanging out or their boobs are showing just a little too much. However Wyatt notices things like how that man should have a bikini wax. I asked him if he even knows what a bikini wax is and he said "Nope". He also thinks that a lot of men should wear bikini tops since they have bigger boobs then some of the women. I can agree with that comment. He also thought he spotted a very pregnant woman with a long black beard. Ummmm that was a man.....I just wish at times he would keep his comments to a low volume and not let the world know what he's thinking ALL THE TIME!!!

Home made Tattoo....

So, it's Saturday with nothing to do. I was baking cookies (yes I can bake!) Wyatt was so excited to watch a Harry Potter he wasn't seen for a couple hours.

Well I went down stairs to bring him some nice warm cookies and a glass of milk when I noticed this mark on his arm. I asked him how he got that and he quickly hid his arm and said "I don't know!"

oh okay....So I kept bugging him to tell me what he did as I got closer to him I could see what he had done. He gave himself a Hickey!!! He called it a home made Tattoo!

Boys!!!

TV.......................

It's so great to watch TV with your child......NOT!

Okay I understand that there are certain times of the day when children should not be watching TV.(after 9 pm)...so they say... As I was getting ready for the day I happen to have VH1 on. This is MORNING when they have music videos on. Wyatt was sitting in my room watching the new Hanson video, well when that was over a K.Y. commerical comes on you know the one's when it talks about for HER and HIM products.....Geez really it's 8:30 in the morning. Well Wyatt sits and you can just see the gears spinning.....he yells

"Hey Mom! I think we should try that!" Ewwwww I hate having to explain this to him.


So, time as past and another commerical comes on. I'm out of the room at this time and Wyatt yells

"Hey Mom! Do I have E.D.?"

"No Wyatt you don't have E.D"

He then yells "Well, can I get it? Because I want to sit in a bath tub on the beach and the commerical says if you have E.D. you can do this, so can I get it?"

I really wish he'd pay this close attention in school!!!

Yikes!!

Words..........

Words are a great thing. Now if you say them correctly they work well for most people.

Wyatt is 9 years old and should know how to use most words correctly, however mistakes are made.

For example just yesterday Wyatt got upset with one of his cousins and yelled "For Goodness Snakes!" I thought I was going to spit my drink out of my mouth. It's always funny when kids say things.


So on to lunch. It was Wyatt, two of his cousins and Grandpa. They had just started eating and Wyatt looks at Grandpa and states

"Hey Grandpa, you have a Mohawk!"

Well with my Dad's hair I guess you could say it resembles a Mohawk. Well Grandpa was NOT pleased with that comment and says

"No I do NOT have a Mohawk it's just how my hair grows."

Wyatt rolls his eyes and says "Well don't worry Grandma still married you anyways!"

The best part is that for the rest of the day all three of the boys kept stating that Grandpa has a Mohawk. It's always fun to get a rise out of Grandpa.


By the way.....Wyatt did get his coconut he was so excited about this thing all he wanted to do was drink the milk from it. So once it was broken into he was so disappointed that the milk looked like dirty water and it tasted like "cheese water". Hmmmmmm I've never tried cheese water, so it's good to know that it tastes just like coconut milk!

Joke....

Okay, so Wyatt thinks he's pretty funny and tries to tell jokes. For the most part none make any sense.....well at least to a person over the age of 10. So he proceeds to tell me a joke....here it goes.

"Mom, what lives in water and is full of seamen?" pause......."a submarine!" then he proceeds to say "I guess you have to watch out because you might have a baby if there are too many seamen." I just stood and looked at him.

He then says "Yah, I didn't get the joke either." He just turns around and walks away.

I'm thinking where in the WORLD are you getting this stuff! Holy Moly!!!

Rule the World!

So Wyatt was having a nice conversation with me about all things you know like Transformers, IronMan, Lego's and so on such important things we all need in our lives. He then states

" You know Mom, one day my Frank and Beans will rule the world!"

I was stunned and had no clue what to say......at first.....then I said

"Well Wyatt it pretty much is run by all the men and their Frank and Beans!"

I can't say if he's ahead of his time or just being funny. I'd like to think he's ahead of his time......such a kid!

When I grow up......

So, I was in the car with Wyatt and he proceeds to tell me what he wants to be when he grows up. At one point in his life he wanted to be a Deer Hunter. I'm really not sure where that idea came from but he spoke about it a lot. He was age 4 at the time of this DREAM job of a Deer Hunter. Then he wanted to be a Cop as he stated it not a Police Man but a Cop. Then it was a Tank Driver, and a Sub Driver (you know for the great Dental plan Sub drivers have) so he now tells me he wants to be a Doctor because they get all the chicks. Hmmmm really?

Well as we continued to drive he then tells me he wants to be a "Crazy Scientist that can bring people from the dead alive". (my 1st thought was Pet Cemetery) he continues to tell me his theory on this type of employment. "If I could be a crazy scientist (not sure why he refers to it as crazy) I would bring my Dad back to life" (oh) then he says "well my Dad might just be bones but I could hang him up in my room." I really didn't know what to say.... however Wyatt decided to finish his thoughts by saying "I think I'll be a Doctor so I can be with all the babes!"

What a kid!

Why?

So it's Monday morning and Wyatt is getting ready for the day. He makes the comment to me "Hey Mom! Why do you always make me wear underwear? It just doesn't make sense."

I state back to him "Well you don't have to wear underwear, but it's most likely more comfortable with underwear on."

So he then says "Lets make a deal, I'll wear underwear on important days (huh?) and go without underwear on the non important days" Then he proceeds to ask me "Hey Mom! can you remind me that I don't have to wear underwear on the non-important days?"

Sure I'll do that! :)

Theme music.............

So, Wyatt was playing outside and was singing a song. He was has happy as he could be, as I walked closer to him I heard what he was singing. It was circus music. Now I hope you all remember what that sounds like because I'm not sure how to put that in words. Anyways I asked him why you are singing that tune. He said "Mom it's my theme music!" Then I asked him Why do you have theme music? He states "Because my life is a movie and every movie has music" Wow what a little nut! Of course as the day went on he decided to give me theme music. He chose the music that plays when the Wicked Witch of the West appears!!! That's my boy!

Songs..........

Okay, so when I started this blog I wasn't sure how often I would get "information" from Wyatt, however I've got new stuff just from day 1!! Woohoo!


So, I was minding my own business reading a book when Wyatt yells from the other room. "Hey Mom get a listen to this!" I didn't hear anything. So then he yells "Oh wait you'll have to wait until next time." Um Okay. So several hours pass I didn't think any more of this event from Wyatt until............."Hey Mom, come here! listen to this!" So Wyatt proceeds to go pee and while he is peeing he is stopping his flow of pee to Jingle Bells. WOW!!! I say "Hey Wyatt maybe we should take this talent and get you on America's Got Talent." Wyatt yells "YES! I could SO be on that show!" Then he puts his finger to his chin and states "but I don't think I have enough pee, and I really don't like to drink water."

Such a funny kid!

In the beginning...........

Ahhhhh Motherhood, such joys, such fun, such laughter, such pain, and I mean pain like OUCH! For having my toes stepped on for the millionith time you think my feet were HUGE!! (nope normal size 8.5) Okay so this Blog is full of statements or comments made mostly by my son Wyatt. I'll also throw in some comments made by other children (Wyatt's cousins). Children say the funniest things. So for any of you reading this it's a work in progress. I will add more as I collect them. Enjoy!

Wyatt for the most part is a normal child he does have ADHD but that doesn't slow him down one bit. He will have conversations with himself on all sorts of issues. From politics to video games. Wyatt will express his thoughts whenever and however he can. He will also remember where and when you stopped him from finshing his toughts and he will proceed to finish that conversation later (like days later)this can be frustrating for most adults, but Wyatt doesn't seem to notice or care.

In my years of knowning Wyatt (9) he has said some very off the wall things at times. So here are just some samples.

"Mom, do frogs have eye lashes? If so do they were that black stuff you put on yours?"

"Mom, will my Frank (referring to his Frank & Beans aka. Weewee) get as long as my leg? If it does will it have to wear a shoe? It might be hard to just buy 3 shoes"

This is the start of what I like to call Wyattisms.